The Encouragement of Reconciliation

The encouragement of reconciliation

One of the neglected Islamic duties and of the greatest of deeds pleasing to Allah is for third-parties to get involved in a disagreement or dispute between two people and actively solve their problems in an amicable manner. Obviously this should only be done by those who are friends or relatives of both parties. All too often, some of us 'opt out' of a conflict between our extended families or within our circle of friends. If we are in a position to do something positive, however, we shouldn't just sit back and ignore.

In Ḥujurāt: 10, Allah commands all of us to be active in working to bring about reconciliation between any groups of Muslims who aren't getting along and fighting. In Baqarah: 224-5, Allah prohibits using His name in oaths to cut off relationships (for example as in the phrase, "I swear by Allah I'm not going to talk to him ever again!"). In Nisā: 114, Allah explicitly allows and praises secret meetings by 3rd parties to discuss tactics on how to bring peace between two people who aren't getting along (when was the last time you organized such a meeting to reconcile between family or friends?!)

And the Prophet ﷺ said, "Would you like to know what is even more blessed and of higher rewards than praying, fasting and giving charity? It is to bring peace between two people" [Abū Dawūd] There are numerous reports that the Prophet ﷺ would actively participate in such matters; once, news came to him that two tribes of Quba fought each other and even threw stones. As soon as he heard, he stood up with some of the Companions and said, "Come, let us go and resolve this dispute between them" [al-Bukhārī].

Dear Muslim: when you see your immediate family, or your inner circle of friends, break up and not talk to each other, don't just sit back and let the drama worsen. If you are in a position to (and only you know whether you are or not!) take an active role. Speak to each party. Know that Allah has even allowed you to state untruths (for example, 'I was with so-and-so and he regretted that harsh words were said and he wished you guys could go back being friends' when he never said such words, and you say the same to the other party). Organize gatherings with mutual friends and 'hatch a plot' to bring them together. Make du'a to Allah to bless your plan...and then execute it, and Allah will shower you with blessings!

Don't just do nothing. Actively take a role in unifying this Ummah and increasing brotherhood/sisterhood amongst us, one group at a time.

May Allah bless you all!
Yasir Qadhi